It better be worth it

It's been an uneventful weekend here. We had a playdate on Saturday. Sunday we relaxed all day. I probably shouldn't say it was totally uneventful though. Brogan had a bad day Sunday.

First let me share with you Kell's schedule. For those that don't know, he's in the PA (physician assistant) program through the Army. It's an accelerated program done in 2 years. The first year is all the "book" work, they take 4 years worth of classes in just one year. The second year is all clinicals and rotations and at the end of it, they get all their certifications, etc including a Masters. It's a pretty tough program. Kell has to study almost 24/7. His classes are Monday through Friday from about 7 till 4:45. He gets home around 5:15, I have dinner ready for him when he walks in the door. We eat dinner together as a family, then he's out the door to get to the library at 6. He stays there studying till 9 (when it closes). Then he comes home and rests for about 20 minutes and it's back to studying till atleast midnight, sometimes later depending on how much he needs to get done. He takes off on Friday night. That's our family night. We cherish it. Saturday and Sundays he goes the library from 10-10.

Ok now that I shared his schedule, you can see that we don't get much time with him. I don't mind it so much. I've been through a year deployment with a 2 year old and a newborn, I can handle this no problem. It's our kids that suffer the most. Atleast with the deployment Kell was gone all the time. The kids got used to it. Plus they were young enough to not really understand. Now the kids see Kell leaving them every night during the week and every day on the weekends. I think it's harder on them because they feel like he doesn't want to be with them. Don't get me wrong Kell is a wonderful daddy and plays with the kids and loves on them every free second that he gets. He would much rather be at home spending time with us. It breaks his heart to leave the kids every night.

I've rambeled quite a bit so far. But that's the backstory. Now this weekend, Brogan was quite upset. He didn't want his daddy to go to the library Sunday morning. Kell tried playing with him as much as he could before he left. It just wasn't enough. Brogan cried and screamed at him not to leave. He even screamed "I'm sick of you leaving me!" ...ouch that one hurt Kell pretty bad. How does a 5 year old come up with that? It took all he had to go study that day. Brogan cried for his daddy for hours. No matter how much I tried to comfort him, it didn't help. Caitlyn's turn was yesterday. She sat at the dinner table crying and begging Kell not to go to the library. She kept saying over and over "Daddy please don't go, please don't go Daddy".

I have to keep reminding myself that this will all be worth it in the end. Kell's doing a great thing for our family.

My man playing with kidneys during school. He's on the right.

Yikes, sorry today's blog turned into a little rant. I'll try and post something happy tomorrow.